All Holly Potter wanted was to know was what strange and mysterious secret was hidden in that cupboard under the stairs, which her aunt and uncle never let her go near… and what did it have to do with “those lesbian freaks” Aunt Petunia would complain about?

(Some later chapters may have NSFW content, but they’ll be marked clearly as such.)


CHAPTER 1: The Leaky Cauldron
In which Ariana declines the offer of alcohol, and Albus declines an offer of a lucrative job.

CHAPTER 2: The Runaway Lawnmower
In which Holly finds a new way to mow the lawn, and Aunt Petunia makes good on an old threat.

CHAPTER 3: An Unexpected Meeting
In which Holly makes a new friend, figures out the exchange rate between pounds and Sickles, and gets lockpicking lessons.

In which Holly hides in a cupboard and takes an unexpected nap.

CHAPTER 5: A Weasley Visit
In which the Weasleys come to tea, and Fred confirms her gender.

CHAPTER 6: Stupid Baby Girl
In which Holly loses her temper, and Dudley gets in touch with his feminine side.

CHAPTER 7: The Story of Tom and Lily
In which Dumbledore talks about the difference between cocoa and chocolate, and Holly is not afraid of stories about terrorists.

CHAPTER 8: Books and Baby-Prudes
In which Hermione and Dean go to extreme measures to enter a library, and Flora protests the use of slurs.

CHAPTER 9: Journey to Brighton
In which Hagrid takes Holly flying, and Hermione gets hypnotized.

CHAPTER 10: The Witching District
In which Holly is puzzled by magical pictures, Hermione does not stare at naked women, and Albus visits a mine.

CHAPTER 11: Bigots and Bargains
In which both Holly and Albus learn something unexpected.

CHAPTER 12: Madame Rosa’s
In which Holly shows off her scar, and Dean visits a place where children aren’t allowed.